wtf letterpress

strange, poorly designed or otherwise wtf letterpress
Target has finally caught onto the letterpress trend and is undercutting all of those hardworking Ebay sellers who offer large metal type on a letter by letter basis! Uh oh. They’ve also conveniently reversed everything so you don’t have to try to read backwards, how thoughtful.

Target has finally caught onto the letterpress trend and is undercutting all of those hardworking Ebay sellers who offer large metal type on a letter by letter basis! Uh oh. They’ve also conveniently reversed everything so you don’t have to try to read backwards, how thoughtful.

You poor, poor piece of punctuation.

You poor, poor piece of punctuation.

Currently on the front page of Etsy! Description includes :
1. Three smiley faces. :) :) :)
2. “They would be great to display, use, alter, etc.” (Altered metal type - the most Etsy thing ever? Possibly. Stick a moustache on it and you’ll be on the front page at least once a day!)
3. “You will receive a set of random sizes and a mix of capital and lower case…possibly not the exact ones shown…but definitely the whole alphabet.”
Thank god…a whole mismatched alphabet. I would be really disappointed if I only got 20 quarter-inch tall metal bits that are going to sit on some shelf in the corner of my house for a year, collecting dust, before I realize buying tiny metal type as a display item was a stupid idea and throw them away, completely wasting otherwise perfectly useful metal type. If it hadn’t been split up into mismatched alphabets to be sold on Etsy, that is.

Currently on the front page of Etsy! Description includes :

1. Three smiley faces. :) :) :)

2. “They would be great to display, use, alter, etc.” (Altered metal type - the most Etsy thing ever? Possibly. Stick a moustache on it and you’ll be on the front page at least once a day!)

3. “You will receive a set of random sizes and a mix of capital and lower case…possibly not the exact ones shown…but definitely the whole alphabet.”

Thank god…a whole mismatched alphabet. I would be really disappointed if I only got 20 quarter-inch tall metal bits that are going to sit on some shelf in the corner of my house for a year, collecting dust, before I realize buying tiny metal type as a display item was a stupid idea and throw them away, completely wasting otherwise perfectly useful metal type. If it hadn’t been split up into mismatched alphabets to be sold on Etsy, that is.

There are a million of these listings on Etsy. Why? Why. Sigh.

(NB: These and only these letters are for sale. If this were a photograph for sale on Etsy, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.)

There are a million of these listings on Etsy. Why? Why. Sigh.

(NB: These and only these letters are for sale. If this were a photograph for sale on Etsy, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.)

#3 Screen.Print.That.Shit.
Exactly how many gallons of ink are you using to get that kind of digital coverage with letterpress? I guess “screen printed” just doesn’t have the same old-timey ring as letterpress, huh.

(I’m ignoring the “digital age vs industrial revolution” thing they seem to be going for, which is also pretty annoying, if I’m being honest.)

#3 Screen.Print.That.Shit.

Exactly how many gallons of ink are you using to get that kind of digital coverage with letterpress? I guess “screen printed” just doesn’t have the same old-timey ring as letterpress, huh.

(I’m ignoring the “digital age vs industrial revolution” thing they seem to be going for, which is also pretty annoying, if I’m being honest.)

Am curious about what kind of situation would cause one to purchase one of these for someone. Someone you know who’s a creep but not enough of a creep for you to not know them? Are you handing them out to creepy strangers? Giving them as a funny gift to someone who is the “creepy” one in your group of friends and everyone is okay with it?

…Actually, I have a friend like this, so maybe it’s the perfect gift.

Am curious about what kind of situation would cause one to purchase one of these for someone. Someone you know who’s a creep but not enough of a creep for you to not know them? Are you handing them out to creepy strangers? Giving them as a funny gift to someone who is the “creepy” one in your group of friends and everyone is okay with it?

…Actually, I have a friend like this, so maybe it’s the perfect gift.

Screenprint that shit #2.

You’re probably using sooo much ink to do this shit letterpress style! Why?

Screenprint that shit #2.

You’re probably using sooo much ink to do this shit letterpress style! Why?

Wood stationery…you get points for creativity, though not necessarily for usefulness (seems kind of fragile to be sent through USPS). You also get points for making me think of Gibbons Markets.

Wood stationery…you get points for creativity, though not necessarily for usefulness (seems kind of fragile to be sent through USPS). You also get points for making me think of Gibbons Markets.

Part one of a series I call “screenprint that shit”. But in this case, seriously, seriously screenprint that shit.

Part one of a series I call “screenprint that shit”. But in this case, seriously, seriously screenprint that shit.

Really trendy thing + really trendy thing = See above.

Really trendy thing + really trendy thing = See above.

Why does “you’ve earned this tip” come off as incredibly condescending? Oh… right…because it is. The description includes “On the back of each note is a web address so when a server earns a  Topper they are especially proud of, they can share it with the world.”
I know if I were working a difficult, low-paying job, the highlight of my day would be receiving a “topper” from some entitled asshole who decided to tell me he liked how I put his drink on the correct side of his plate. Ugh. Fuck off.

Why does “you’ve earned this tip” come off as incredibly condescending? Oh… right…because it is. The description includes “On the back of each note is a web address so when a server earns a Topper they are especially proud of, they can share it with the world.”

I know if I were working a difficult, low-paying job, the highlight of my day would be receiving a “topper” from some entitled asshole who decided to tell me he liked how I put his drink on the correct side of his plate. Ugh. Fuck off.

desk?
duck?
deck?
i’m all out of ideas.

desk?

duck?

deck?

i’m all out of ideas.

you are obviously white

you are obviously white

well…there’s something you don’t see everyday.

well…there’s something you don’t see everyday.

hopefully pat will be able to read that announcement, buried down in that there paper…

hopefully pat will be able to read that announcement, buried down in that there paper…